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Choose Freedom, Always

Flip Your Brain is finally back from an over 3-year hibernation! Mainly getting through the sudden untimely death of my husband Jeff Schoener, I had been thrust into a tumultuous rollercoaster of changes, upheavals, vulnerabilities, courage, turning points, personal growth, achievements and, throughout—the tremendous love and support of family and friends. Yes, I had to do some major brain-flipping constantly.

Many times, I would feel compelled to put thoughts and feelings to paper (or screen…), yet ultimately feeling directionless through a barrage of unsorted thoughts and emotions as if I were simultaneously running a myriad of programs in my brain that seemed unending, with loops that were never closing.

So now, what better time to get it started again in a new direction, than during my pre-Passover holiday cleaning.  Historically this period – until the end of the 8-day holiday is specifically a time to embark upon a spiritual and emotional cleansing within, in addition to the prescribed cleansing of unpermitted foods from our physical environment. Just as the ancient Israelites went from slavery in Egypt to become a free people in the land of Israel, albeit within a span of 40 years–so do we experience within the 8 days of this holiday, a newfound liberation through introspection from what had previously held us hostage.

While I myself have personally gone through a hell of a lot of letting-go, I find myself still having room to be freer, lighter, softer, stronger and with a greater capacity for so many things to live and strive for. I mean, don’t we all?  Sometimes writing or teaching helps us along in our own path to growth, so wanting to share this, from all I have benefited – this is a good time to ask, what enslaves you?

shacklesIt is important when taking stock of what we may feel a prisoner of, to know the distinctions between instinct and intuition. This is the difference between our gut feelings and energetic higher knowing. Sometimes these can be confused not only with each other, but also with learned behavioral patterns and beliefs that are running inside of us. It is important to know the difference so we can actually make the ascertainment of what may be a true warning sign and what is a learned program operating that may no longer serve us.

Oftentimes we allow bad or uneasy feelings to cycle through us over and over without having a way of letting go.  We think we have to live with them and just deal with them while letting other things distract us for the time being. The situation does not have to remain. Some would prefer the ongoing discomfort of the situation to the temporary discomfort of change, or fear of the unknown – and while I know that some of these may be uncomfortable to face, there is nothing quite like that delightful feeling of a heavy weight being lifted.

freedom

Unfortunately, there are many who would hold on to these negative issues than realize a life of freedom without them. One of the most profound things I had learned in my life was about secondary gain. What is secondary gain? It is a situation that is used for underlying benefits – usually not positive ones. For instance, you may know someone who would keep complaining about a problem, health issue or even a fear, but will constantly make excuses about trying out different options to resolve these. They deem that the temporary sympathy and attention they seek to receive is far more gratifying than being free of whatever it is keeping them stuck. It could even be their own ‘poor me’ internal thoughts that keep them there. However, being a martyr is not the best option while you are alive and have a life to live!

So with that, what if any, would you identify at this moment as incongruent to your happiness? What have you allowed to get in the way? What holds you hostage? A job? A personal loss? Grief? Your lifestyle? A relationship? The lack of one? Maybe it’s those feelings of frustration and desperation of feeling stuck – whether it is a phase in your life, a person or a fear, a behavior or emotion – know that it is temporary. What would you do if you knew what the outcome of this would be and how it would affect you? Well you can – and it’s not a psychic gift or magic…although the process can be infinitely magical in and of itself. So, allow yourself to play the movie out to the end – not only with playful creativity and a vivid imagination – give yourself the permission to play out the different scenarios with a full sensory experience. The visuals, the sounds, the feelings, the smells and even the tastes, if necessary. Make it crazy, make it funny, make it realistic, make it serious…you will know the actual from the made up of the ‘what could be’. Deep down, you know that you know… Which actually negates the whole ‘I don’t know’ part of the self-imposed paralytic cycle!

chain breaking

I must admit that I too have found myself unexpectedly spending a lot of time on a situation that at first fun, now seeming to take much of my thoughts, energy and sometimes even my emotional well-being. But through this cleaning of my house I decided on a cleansing of this thing which has surprisingly bothered me a great deal from time to time and let’s just say I would rather it not.  It is obvious that we can become a slave to our own heart and emotions and sometimes we just must put into perspective all that we have been through, grown from and become stronger with to be able to keep in perspective how we would rather feel than revert clumsily back to situations and patterns from which we had long evolved. When you know this, you can switch easily and comfortably back to a state of mental clarity, strength and resolve.

You have the freedom to learn and practice the skills to make these changes with ease, whether they are mental process skills or energy healing skills – or both, in order to rid yourself of the gnawing discomforts of what keeps us stuck and to replace them with the freedom for what you would rather have in your life. Make your way through your own unique journey from bondage to freedom, from plodding through with weighted shackles to dancing through delightful enlightenment.

Freedom

And what better time than NOW?

 

 

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Beyond the Fun-House Mirror: Putting This “Morphic” Thing Back in Order

with Jeff Schoener, the NLP Wordsmythe

While the medical PR community comes up with new disorders on a continuous basis, before we get sucked in to the new millennium’s version of hypochondria, remember this vital information given from an insider in the medical profession: These disorders are merely new names given for symptoms not yet deciphered by the medical community in order for pharmaceutical companies to sell their wares.  There are so many self-diagnosed disorders today that, much like the communities of wordsmiths, NLP and other brain language and belief experts, it would behoove us to make use of the etymology of language before we fall into the traps. Getting to the root of the language may actually also help us get to the root of our so-called disorders.

I would like to use as a newly common example, Body Dysmorphic Disorder.  According to the Mayo Clinic, “Body dysmorphic disorder is a type of chronic mental illness in which you can’t stop thinking about a flaw with your appearance — a flaw that is either minor or imagined. When you have body dysmorphic disorder, you intensely obsess over your appearance and body image, often for many hours a day.” Now, can you think of how this perceived disorder goes far beyond the physical? In fact it goes beyond how one sees themselves; it’s also what we tell ourselves – how we talk to ourselves, what we hear, how we feel.

Physical dysmorphia may not just be seeing ourselves in a warped view. How do we “see” ourselves?  In the physical – pretty, ugly, average, gorgeous, plain, nice but flawed? As a person – intelligent, stupid, kind, confident, shy, a success, a failure? How are we telling ourselves that we are these things? What and whose voices do we hear? Our own, a critical parent, sibling or other family member? Our old school-mates, friends, bullies, teachers? How do we feel when we do this? If it makes us feel crappy, why do we do this? Would you ever define yourself as a masochist? Most wouldn’t, yet if we break it down, sadly many of us are.

I still remember one of the very few Dr. Phil advice or techniques that I have ever agreed with. A guest on his show had issues with motivation, self-esteem and was constantly in bad relationships, come to find out her father was verbally abusive to her as a child. However her father had long been deceased, but she kept replaying his words in her head. Finally Dr. Phil said to her, “He’s been gone for many years and you are an adult woman; STOP continuing on his abuse for him!” Are we standing in our own way to well-being, success and the life we desire? Interestingly enough, I also remember many years ago, I found myself saying something negative about me, when my husband Jeff retorted to my surprise, “Hey! Nobody speaks to my wife that way! Not even you!” That woke me up and I began to pay closer attention to the conversations I was having with my Self!

When Jeff works with clients within this range of issues, he finds that,

“When perception and illusion are out of balance, attempting self control based upon internal perception leads individually to distress and depression cycles.  The more the individual attempts to either control the cycle or avoid the cycle the worse the symptoms seem to get.  Do not attempt to get a handle on this.  In many cases my clients are battling the emotions not the issues that begin the cycle.“

So what can we do consciously to become more aware of our unconscious self-talk and beliefs about ourselves, and what can we do to change that?

  • Regress in order to egress.  Taking note of what you do, see, hear or feel before you ‘see’ yourself in ‘that way’ will offer you greater insight into what this is truly about.
  • Pay attention.  Most of the processes that drive these behaviors and emotions begin just outside of your conscious awareness.  If you were to pay attention to how this cycle is triggered, the better chance you have of making it a thing of the past.
  • Have faith.  What occurs behind our eyes is far more important than what we think we see. Our eyes are designed to invert an image onto our retina.  There is a direct translation process that happens in our brain.  Seeing is not always believing, for many believing is seeing.
  • Stop the blame game.  If you or someone else caused this cycle, blaming will only serve to distract from the cycle and fed into the emotional drama that helps keep you stuck.
  • Be more forgiving and be kind to yourself.  The more anger, anxiety and frustration occur, the more one becomes locked into their emotional drama. This is not the source of the issue, only the result.
  • Gain perspective and release control.  By becoming more a friend to your Self, many of these issues become just a little less important.

Begin following these tips and you will start getting more accustomed to paying attention to the language used by you and by others. Using appropriate language and finding congruence between your mind, body and spirit becomes the basis of making better brain chemistry and resulting in making healthier decisions. It goes like this: The better things you tell yourself, the better your brain chemistry, the better decisions you make and the better things turn out – it’s a happier cycle! Doing the opposite will give you adverse results. So keep practicing, keep healthy and stay happy!

For your viewing pleasure…here’s a more direct and humorous approach!

About Flip Your Brain

Hey Doc! Watch Your Language!

Just recently, I had learned that my aunt who resides in Australia and in her early 80’s, had a fall and broke her hip.  This was followed by a successful hip replacement.  My aunt had been diagnosed 6 years ago with Peripheral Neuropathy and gradually had less and less flexibility in her movement.  She is also someone who has always been mentally more youthful than her years, having been a singer/musician for a lengthy period of her life. Now her attending orthopedist had requested to review her tests and scans over the last 6 years.  Upon review, he concluded that she had been misdiagnosed and does not have neuropathy at all.  Good as a second opinion, right? He now also ascertained that reviewing her MRIs from 6 years ago, her brain had shrunk more than normal for a person of her then age and cannot understand how or why she does not have any sign or symptoms of dementia! (Really? Now I would definitely get a second opinion on that whole shrunken brain diagnosis!) He went ahead and ordered a new MRI to probe into this mystery.  Her results showed that her brain hasn’t changed much in all this time and is now normal.

Which brings me to other perspectives on the subject, some of which I have been collaborating with my husband Jeff, about the language used by doctors generally in the concluding diagnoses they make and the ultimately baffling reality they cannot seem to reconcile.  How do we gain the arrogance to make absolute sweeping statements about something that we know we don’t yet know everything about? In our field of healing within change-work, we understand that first of all, we don’t know everything there is to know about our mind-body processes, but we do know that our beliefs and what we tell ourselves, and ultimately our cells, has everything to do with it.  We know how to educate others in communicating the right messages and dialogs to our body in order to affect the optimum healthy dynamic.  In our line of teaching and learning, we know that while what we know we know is important, and what we know we don’t know will motivate us to learn more, realizing that what we don’t know we don’t know is the key to forever having the humility to gain further insight, knowledge, wisdom and understanding into the yet unknown realms of life.

Realizing that even doctors of western medicine who have studied and gained a vast array of knowledge about the human body in as much as understanding symptoms of diseases and the treatment of such, they still do not know what makes us tick and they do not know how healing happens on the meta-physical level. My aunt believed the doctor’s words six years ago that she had peripheral neuropathy and without a second opinion, readied herself for the progression of the disease declared by the doctor.  All I can say now is, thank God he didn’t “notice” or pursue the shrunken brain business, giving her further preparation for onset dementia which she no doubt would have contracted by now! (Funny thing too about the usage of language “contracting” a disease—so binding!)

Jeff and I have learned much about health and healing and how beliefs and communication with oneself affects all of it. Some years ago, Jeff was invited to speak and facilitate a meditative healing session at a Parkinson’s disease conference.  Our neurologist associate, who is also a movement disorder specialist, was very interested in the effects of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Design Human Engineering used for Parkinson’s and Stroke. We both listened very intently to the language used by all the featured speakers, including our associate and the neuro-surgeon. While our associate is a believer of integrative healing and had a more human approach, the presentations by all the doctors were more a fact-based approach of known evidence of the disease and delivered step-by-step sequential acceleration of the disease’s progression that patients should expect.  When the conference took a break, we listened to the comments of the bypassing patients, most of them along the lines of “I feel more depressed now than when I got here!” Sad but true.  And oh yes, depression is also one of the by-products of the disease! Well no wonder…since they had put their patients in further dis-ease!

In another instance, I know a woman who went to see a breast surgeon for a biopsy consultation to check for some abnormality. Feeling confident that the reputable facility had all her files regarding the issue, when the surgeon appeared, his first words to her were, “So I understand you’ve been diagnosed with breast cancer.” Her response? What? No! Clearly he was not familiar with her file or reason for being there, even though she had filled out countless forms, along with prior tests results leading to her consultation.  Had she been someone who was not familiar with her own case, she would have taken him at his word and shrunk in fear and anxiety.

While I’m no doctor, I may be a healer of sorts and I know as my own truth that when we put our faith into the limitations of the medical encyclopedia we begin to believe with limitation. So why in all glory of the infinite possibilities we have been given, would we choose to restrict ourselves with someone else’s limited version of who we are and what we are to become?

Realizing this now, my foremost suggestion is always be aware of what you say to your body. Speak well of yourself and to yourself. Be all that you desire and more than you think you are, and stay well.

Want to learn more about communicating with our cells? View info on Cellular Acceptance: The Healing Audio Workshop with your smartphone.

 

Learn more about cellular communication and Cellular Acceptance.

About Flip Your Brain