Prism Thinking – Design Your Mind

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Channeling the Wordsmith Within: Have You Listened to Yourself Lately?

Have you ever read or heard the kind of dismissal responses from a prospective employer or client, typically “…unfortunately we have decided to go with another company.” or “…unfortunately we have decided to offer the position to another candidate.” Have you ever been the one on the receiving end? Or the person making that statement so automatically because it’s a professional-sounding, business formatted response?

When I read or hear that I can’t help but go “wait…what??” So, why is that unfortunate and to whom? If you are the company or person who has decided to go with a certain thing then what is the unfortunate part about? “Unfortunately, we have decided to go with…” I mean isn’t it a good instance when you have made a decision? Is it unfortunate that you chose that thing, unfortunate for the one that was chosen or unfortunate for the one who wasn’t? After all the sentiment doesn’t really apply to the entire scenario, only to one party – if at all.  It is a definite fallacy on the part of the one who has made the choice, because obviously they are certain that they have made a good choice, or they wouldn’t have, right? And why rub salt into the wound of the rejected? Perhaps they really did them a favor. Or maybe it just wasn’t the right fit. And shouldn’t we all be committed to the right fit?  Like I said – a fallacy.

So why do we choose the words that don’t truthfully or accurately indicate the sentiment of the situation? I really do take issue with the misuse of automatic language – unthinking, without linking to the actual feeling, meaning or maybe even consequences – to stretch it even further. When clichés are used without even noticing their inherent meaning, they become worthless.  Even though clichés do have hypnotic effects and suggestiveness on us, when it becomes too common as in we’ve heard them too often, we may go into brain-lock momentarily and their intended aim will fail in its efficacy.

While words may only affect us according to the value we give them ourselves, they nevertheless have lasting impact on all of us. Mindful use of language is powerful, just as words are creative, as in the artful juxtaposition of the sentences we craft in our daily dialogues with others and to ourselves.  One of the rules I have always emphasized is on the quantum level, the creative power of the words I AM. How many of us are mindful and pay attention to the words that follow? Even the famous biblical words in Genesis that we are all familiar with – I AM that I AM – indicates that we are whatever follows I AM. Yes, words are that powerful… but wait… only with utmost belief in their intrinsic value, often on an other-than-conscious level, and often on deep value levels. Sometimes the value lies in who is uttering them or who they mean to us.

The old saying, think before you speak is sage advice.  In my youth I used to pride FB_IMG_1525260645909.jpgmyself on a business course I had taken with one of the classes being English for Commerce.  Really what we learnt was how to craft professional form business correspondence. These language skills were versatile enough to be applied to a variety of situations. The prerequisite was an already good command of the language. Looking back, I apply to this day, much of what I learnt in that class and I also realize that unless you are mindful and knowledgeable enough to custom craft a correspondence or a good conversation, like anything else will fall prey to becoming a trite, meaningless regurgitation of words.

So, if you haven’t been already, start to listen to yourself – to the words formulating inside your head and then to what’s coming out. There’s always opportunity to become better, to craft and speak words with meaning, significance and depth and really affect others in a profound way.

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The Cosmic Page Turner

The Cosmic Page-Turner

What is it about unforeseen circumstances that seem to unapologetically pull the rug from under us, leaving us stunned and sometimes even paralyzed to even fathom that such events could even have the audacity to occur? Whether it is the loss of a job or status, having to give up a residence or relocate comfortable surroundings, the physical death of a loved one, or a life-changing illness – these are all life-altering events – many traumatic, that each of us have gone through in some form at some point in our lives, propelling us towards the “new normal”.

Inversely, there are countless happy life-changing events that occur daily that go unrecognized, the constant magical moments in our days that offer us the opportunity to exceed our expectations, stay fulfilled in a continuity of balance, weighing the positive and the negative within our life cycles. Yet so many choose to focus on what we perceive as the ‘bad’ and become miserably attached to and defined by – bad things that happen. As in everything, and sometimes we may only witness it later, there is also good within the bad, otherwise known as learning experiences.

“I never lose. Either I win or I learn.” – Nelson Mandela

I as one of many, who have experienced in my life what would be considered the incomprehensible, am surely able to turn around and look at the events that have transpired since, to see the path of my journey. While there are many paths from which we can choose, whether or not we believe there are choices, when we make the best decision in the given moment as a step towards the answer to “what is the Universe telling me?”; we seek to answer the burning questions, what are we supposed to be doing in this life we have been given? What are the messages we are sent? What part does each person play in our lives?

The truth is every significant event is an opportunity for growth. Every game-changer teaches us and propels us forward – if we choose to take it as such. Each time the incomprehensible – at least in that moment—happens, marks a new chapter we are to embark on in our lives. They are not just things that happen randomly. Yes, our actions are the cause and effect. Yes, oftentimes we ourselves seek the changes that become the catalyst for greater change in our lives, and as we breathe through it all, the highs and lows, the joyous and the more ominous ones, all the while curiously asking the question, what’s next… what do I do with this? The answer invariably presents itself. Sometimes not the one we thought, or were even hoping for, sometimes the appropriate one or the one that gives us further insight to what is right. Mixed in with a bit of our passions, and connected to each of our individuality, and linked to our core, we are given surprising guided direction and confirmation within appropriate timing.

What a ride

In hindsight, when I think of how far the distances I have traveled at different phases of my life to embark on new chapters, uprooting, each time leaving behind loved ones, and welcoming new ones, where my life has taken me, the most amazing relationships I have made and unequivocally kept, the impact of each person—even the ones with whom I have lost touch, but never forgotten, the things I have learnt and grown from, my evolution—I would be hard pressed to say that each of these momentous life landmarks have not been the Cosmic hand turning the pages to new chapters.

So, when in the past swimming through the seas of the unexpected, attempting to clumsily adapt to our “new normal”, how about to now gracefully journey through the new chapters of our lives, periodically checking in with our cosmic partners and appropriately repositioning our internal life GPS? Embrace the page turners, boldly navigate your new new chapters – at the end of it all it will be a sensational story and really good reading on the way!

“Today I choose to be the grandest version of the greatest vision of who I am.” – Neal Donald Walsh

 

The Case for Humanity

Today I saw on Facebook a video posting on what someone considered a sad state of humanity where an animated character marches through life using and destroying all of nature in his path as he leads a life of inconsiderate convenience, luxury and technology.  The video, which I might add is very clever and creative, was captioned Humans Don’t Deserve Earth. So, it got me thinking as I frequently do about most things. This talented person who clearly took the time, effort and creativity to make this video while perceiving life on an unrealistic macro scale, obviously believes that all humans do this thing.Speck That we go through life abusing all our natural resources, all of nature and have no compassion for anything within our ecosystem. Don’t we? Before we all get emotionally swept away in self-righteous indignation from a freeze-frame snapshot of one aspect of humanity perhaps it would be in good counsel to look at all aspects down to some of the finer details.

Firstly, I am annoyed.  Yes, annoyed by small-mindedness, tunnelled vision, ignorance, and people who are offended. Is that somewhat of a paradox? Those who take the view of the video creator, how do they view our ecosystem? Our free will? Our individual feelings of accountability? Responsibility? Charity? Our sacrifices? How we interact within nature? One with natureAt the top of the predatorial food chain, humans as homosapien apex predators have it a bit more complex in our overall abilities, capabilities and expectations than our fellow members below in the chain. In that we all have our roles to play to exist and to live. We all make sacrifices from the littlest member to the largest, from the ones that act purely on instinct to the ones that must make difficult decisions throughout the day.  Cause and effect is how we live in our environment – one with nature or separate, one with humanity or separate.  We cannot possibly simplistically equate lives within our system. We have beliefs and feelings and we act on them, sometimes – or we sacrifice our feelings for what we believe to be for the highest good, sometimes. We have principles. We battle between chaos and order, harmony and dissonance.

In Judaism, the Torah teaches in Genesis that the first thing the Creator had Adam do was to name every creature from every species on land, ocean and air. The names Adam gave to each creature in Hebrew till today, is the meaning of the essence of each being.  Adam first had to have an understanding of each individual creature’s essence to accurately name it. What does that tell you of the essence of the human? The mental, spiritual and emotional faculties we were given above all else to resonate with nature.  And yet… we must eat, we must hunt, we must clothe ourselves, we must have shelter, we must commune, we must interact, we must communicate, we must understand – and sometimes – because we may not always be able to achieve these things, we must fight, we must survive, technologywe must advance, we must win in order to do so – and sometimes – we will lose, but we must also learn – all the time, every time. Even to love, respect and honor.  Even amongst ourselves, we must be the better man – or woman, not only to be better than the other, but also better than we were yesterday, a moment ago. We make choices, we make sacrifices, we are human – for all intents and purposes. We evolve.

So, you think it’s a sad state that the proverbial human marches through life abusing and destroying everything?? Look again into the finer details. Gain a vaster perspective. It’s a bit more complex than what you once thought.

Mind Fullness Series

Memories: Those Were the Days…

A phrase I like saying less these days. Mostly because of what it suggests in its usage. Those were the days… as if the present isn’t full of wonderful memory-making opportunities. I look at old pictures – be it on print, digital or in my mind and I think what great times…all part of a spectacular tapestry of events imprinted within – time, space, us…within each. While completely taking in the present moments creating a thread of many more wonderful pictures and events even still to be created. Yes-  those were the days, and these are the days. So, enjoy your present, for when you think back you can be surprised by all the wonderful gifts you unpack.

 

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“No memory is ever alone; it’s at the end of a trail of memories, a dozen trails that each have their own associations.”
–  Louis L’Amour – American novelist (1908 – 1988)

Mind Fullness Series

The Journey We Call Life

I may have glimpsed an understanding of the meaning of life. That it’s this amazing thing we’re given – and you just do it! Through all the highs and lows, ups and downs, good and bad, joy and sadness, fear and courage, losses and gains, confusion and clarity, sickness and health, the calm and the stress, it still remains constantly this  magically amazing gift. We breathe it in and we breathe it out. And we’re meant to live it, go through it and embrace it –  every moment no matter what happens.  Unwrap each moment like opening a present. It may not always be what we want at that particular moment, but there’s a gift for us to use at some point. Keep in mind, look inside, ahead to what’s next!

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. “
– Joseph Campbell

Choose Freedom, Always

Flip Your Brain is finally back from an over 3-year hibernation! Mainly getting through the sudden untimely death of my husband Jeff Schoener, I had been thrust into a tumultuous rollercoaster of changes, upheavals, vulnerabilities, courage, turning points, personal growth, achievements and, throughout—the tremendous love and support of family and friends. Yes, I had to do some major brain-flipping constantly.

Many times, I would feel compelled to put thoughts and feelings to paper (or screen…), yet ultimately feeling directionless through a barrage of unsorted thoughts and emotions as if I were simultaneously running a myriad of programs in my brain that seemed unending, with loops that were never closing.

So now, what better time to get it started again in a new direction, than during my pre-Passover holiday cleaning.  Historically this period – until the end of the 8-day holiday is specifically a time to embark upon a spiritual and emotional cleansing within, in addition to the prescribed cleansing of unpermitted foods from our physical environment. Just as the ancient Israelites went from slavery in Egypt to become a free people in the land of Israel, albeit within a span of 40 years–so do we experience within the 8 days of this holiday, a newfound liberation through introspection from what had previously held us hostage.

While I myself have personally gone through a hell of a lot of letting-go, I find myself still having room to be freer, lighter, softer, stronger and with a greater capacity for so many things to live and strive for. I mean, don’t we all?  Sometimes writing or teaching helps us along in our own path to growth, so wanting to share this, from all I have benefited – this is a good time to ask, what enslaves you?

shacklesIt is important when taking stock of what we may feel a prisoner of, to know the distinctions between instinct and intuition. This is the difference between our gut feelings and energetic higher knowing. Sometimes these can be confused not only with each other, but also with learned behavioral patterns and beliefs that are running inside of us. It is important to know the difference so we can actually make the ascertainment of what may be a true warning sign and what is a learned program operating that may no longer serve us.

Oftentimes we allow bad or uneasy feelings to cycle through us over and over without having a way of letting go.  We think we have to live with them and just deal with them while letting other things distract us for the time being. The situation does not have to remain. Some would prefer the ongoing discomfort of the situation to the temporary discomfort of change, or fear of the unknown – and while I know that some of these may be uncomfortable to face, there is nothing quite like that delightful feeling of a heavy weight being lifted.

freedom

Unfortunately, there are many who would hold on to these negative issues than realize a life of freedom without them. One of the most profound things I had learned in my life was about secondary gain. What is secondary gain? It is a situation that is used for underlying benefits – usually not positive ones. For instance, you may know someone who would keep complaining about a problem, health issue or even a fear, but will constantly make excuses about trying out different options to resolve these. They deem that the temporary sympathy and attention they seek to receive is far more gratifying than being free of whatever it is keeping them stuck. It could even be their own ‘poor me’ internal thoughts that keep them there. However, being a martyr is not the best option while you are alive and have a life to live!

So with that, what if any, would you identify at this moment as incongruent to your happiness? What have you allowed to get in the way? What holds you hostage? A job? A personal loss? Grief? Your lifestyle? A relationship? The lack of one? Maybe it’s those feelings of frustration and desperation of feeling stuck – whether it is a phase in your life, a person or a fear, a behavior or emotion – know that it is temporary. What would you do if you knew what the outcome of this would be and how it would affect you? Well you can – and it’s not a psychic gift or magic…although the process can be infinitely magical in and of itself. So, allow yourself to play the movie out to the end – not only with playful creativity and a vivid imagination – give yourself the permission to play out the different scenarios with a full sensory experience. The visuals, the sounds, the feelings, the smells and even the tastes, if necessary. Make it crazy, make it funny, make it realistic, make it serious…you will know the actual from the made up of the ‘what could be’. Deep down, you know that you know… Which actually negates the whole ‘I don’t know’ part of the self-imposed paralytic cycle!

chain breaking

I must admit that I too have found myself unexpectedly spending a lot of time on a situation that at first fun, now seeming to take much of my thoughts, energy and sometimes even my emotional well-being. But through this cleaning of my house I decided on a cleansing of this thing which has surprisingly bothered me a great deal from time to time and let’s just say I would rather it not.  It is obvious that we can become a slave to our own heart and emotions and sometimes we just must put into perspective all that we have been through, grown from and become stronger with to be able to keep in perspective how we would rather feel than revert clumsily back to situations and patterns from which we had long evolved. When you know this, you can switch easily and comfortably back to a state of mental clarity, strength and resolve.

You have the freedom to learn and practice the skills to make these changes with ease, whether they are mental process skills or energy healing skills – or both, in order to rid yourself of the gnawing discomforts of what keeps us stuck and to replace them with the freedom for what you would rather have in your life. Make your way through your own unique journey from bondage to freedom, from plodding through with weighted shackles to dancing through delightful enlightenment.

Freedom

And what better time than NOW?

 

 

Lattitude = Attitude?

After quite a hiatus from blogging, with traveling overseas and reorganizing, I’m pleased to be back with more perspectives and thoughts about social cultures, mentalities and attitudes.  Spending time in one of my favorite countries and cultures, Australia always seems to offer a delightful take on everyday life. “How ya going?” and “G’day, mate” may seem typical Downunder colloquialisms to us living Up-and-over, but it really is a part of the everyday greeting in their everyday mindsets. Even as a majority Christian country, the quite common conversation closing of “Bless you” is heartwarming to anyone of any religious belief or practice.

While Jeff and I were there for a family wedding, we were also fortunate enough for Jeff to be invited as a guest speaker on stress relief and coping skills for a Caregiver Support group, or Carer support as they call it.  As my sister had been my mother’s carer while my mother was alive, she had become quite a fan of our Caregiver Relief Kit audio program and of course turned out to be a great spokesperson for its benefits to her Carer Support friends. Quite happily, this product had become popular locally to her, which also lead to these speaking engagements that we were both so honored to be a part.

So maybe it has to do with the general Aussie fairdinkum disposition, maybe the polarity of the region makes them respond differently, maybe they’re well-fed with 5 daily meals (the addition of morning tea and afternoon tea, both involving a required intake of cakes, biscuits and pasties!); or perhaps altogether another reason, it is refreshing to observe a very different audience interaction than what we had become accustomed to for our American caregiver support networks. With a willingness to play along with the light-hearted mental exercises and asking poignant questions relevant to their particular circumstances, it was gratifying to see an audience with a “how can I make this work for me” attitude. In this we understand that the value of what we teach lies within the value that the recipient places upon themselves, regardless of whether it is given for free, or whether for a nominal fee or even greater. What is even more gratifying to us, the provider of the information is to witness first-hand, appreciation for a new learning versus the “throw-away” mentality of those who deem a gift of service as “let me see if your information is worth anything, but first let me see how much free stuff I can really get and then I’ll decide if I even want it.” A sad and jaded state, but valuable education nonetheless, for those of us who provide transformational teaching models.

This now brings me to a related point that I have noticed in a lot of self-help information floating around. While many of the information available is highly helpful, it’s not the actual informational content that got me thinking, but rather the reader or receiver comments, now widely public, following the content is what I am most interested. Most recently something that I had read had to do with practical tips for living and 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself. Good info and much that I agree with however, cursory at best. While the content of the article dealt with 30 things not to do, it also went ahead to name what normally happens when we do them. Many identify with the scenarios following those actions. For many of us who are used to introspection and making changes and adjustments, replacing useless habits and patterns with better, more useful ones is easier done than those who internalize and say, “yes I do that and that’s exactly what happens; so how do I change it?” In this case telling us what not to do is easier said than done.

The responses following the online article were just that. Great info… it’s exactly what I needed to hear… everyone should read this… that is so true… Hardly any on, how do I do otherwise? What can I do to change this? So as in standard talk therapy, where identifying the issue and how and when it was created occupies so much of its mass, those engaged in successful change-work know that identifying and stopping do not work without replacing the old pattern with something better, more useful, more fulfilling; otherwise filling the new void with yet another unhealthy, yet rationalized pattern will happen quicker than we know.

So then, are most of us just comfortable with the knowing, but yet uncomfortable with the changing? Do we not want to do the work involved to actually create something better? Do we want to take the responsibility or do we just want to talk about it and commiserate with others on similar issues? Do we just feel better for the moment before going back comfortably into our uncomfortable patterns?  Maybe it’s personal attitude, maybe it’s cultural traits, maybe it’s regional mentality, the reality is change does not always have to be uncomfortable, and if we have the right change and coping tools it can be one of the most fulfilling rides of our lives!

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