I was watching a program on the OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network) the other day, Finding Sarah – about Sarah Fergusen, the Duchess of York and her journey back to finding herself. Within this journey she seeks the help of gurus in several fields to help bring her back up again, among these Dr. Phil, Suze Orman, a shaman, a fitness trainer and the like. I must say first that it was quite intriguing as the plight of the Duchess is highly identifiable with many. Now I ask that you bear with me for the next few lines of storytelling while I set the framework of my points in question.
Following her story and her painstaking journey back to happiness, we become involved in the drama of the otherwise highly personal content of another’s life. I watch it however to observe how conventional and non-conventional therapies and techniques are taught by various coaches using so many different methods. What perspectives to do they teach?
The highlight of this blog post is what followed a financial session with Suze Orman who proceeded to let Sarah know that she was lacking in self-worth foremost after which Sarah responded, “How does one get self-worth?” Correlating with her previous question, she would intently provoke Dr. Phil with the question basically along the lines of “what’s wrong with me?” So Dr. Phil takes her through a few leading questions, eliciting certain answers from her, whereby announcing his conclusion that she is an addict! An approval-seeking addict. The most disturbing part to me was Sarah’s relief, “Now I know what’s wrong with me. I’m so happy there’s a name for it!” Really? You’re happy that someone has finally put a label on you?
So that got me to thinking, of course. Self-worth, seeking approval and the acceptance of somebody else’s labeling of us. They don’t quite go together when you really think about it do they? Yet for all intent’s purposes, they seemed to go together in a conventional therapeutic program widely accepted by most. So how is it that when we desire to free ourselves from destructive behavior, we add labels to our Selves that keep us confined? When we file or organize our inanimate things that we acquire during the course of our lives, we label them. We put neat little sticky things on them and mark them “important”, “urgent”, “priority”, “for later use”, “incomplete” and an array of others that only have meaning to us individually. The value they hold is only the value we give it.
When we label ourselves or allow others to do so, we give ourselves value only as far as the label does. You are this, that or the other. I am this, that or the other. Do we realize that the I AM in these statements is the most powerful creative thought we can even imagine? What we believe we are, we become. Go ahead…try it. Think of a few things you think you are and use them in a sentence beginning with “I am…” Think of things others have told you that “you are”. How committed are you to those statements? How strong are your beliefs in them?
What we do, however, we can do differently, or the same – and we can observe the different results of our actions. If what we do isn’t working for us, then we can seek ways in trying something else that will. The potentials in possibilities are far more unlimited than the “I am this” labels, aren’t they? Try them on for yourself and evaluate the different feelings they evoke in you. After all do we really need experts to tell us what and why we are, or do we want experts who will show us ways to change how and what we do? You be the judge before you tack on that next label.
Note: These are just a few perspectives. I have more—as should we all.