Prism Thinking – Design Your Mind

Posts tagged ‘victims’

Exodus, Freedom and Transcending What Enslaves Us

In the next week as we Jewish people everywhere prepare for the Passover holiday, it reminds us that it is not just a holiday of traditional ritual services.  Although regional traditions were handed down from generation to generation stemming from the Torah commandments, what we are constantly reminded is the primal message we received from the very Event that started this whole thing – which was the Exodus from Egypt and imposed slavery on our ancestors. And the message is one of perspective and of prism-thinking itself.

While we were given Divine instruction to hurry up and leave our enslaved existence of over 400 years as a people, along with whatever personal belongings we could gather within a very confined window of time, what we didn’t know at the time was that we were about to embark on a 40-year journey in the wilderness before we could get to where we were going. Metaphorically, does that seem to sound familiar?

Time and time again we argued, we complained, we feared, we rebelled, all the while being told to just trust and have faith. Well yes, wouldn’t you know – some did and some didn’t! In the meantime, we journeyed, we grew, we were nourished, we won battles along the way and were provided all sorts of clues and messages and yes, blatantly affirmative laws, explicit instruction on how-to everything!

So why then did the Israelites take 40 years to get to their destination? And why did it coincide with an entire generation dying out before we were awarded entry into the land of Israel? Symbolically and physically, the land of Israel represented a new mindset, that of freedom, responsibility, accountability, growth and development, all the attributes that come with being your own person. One cannot enter this state without a synchronous mentality. One cannot maintain such a state with the lingering mentality of slavery and bondage.

Likewise as we prepare to clean our homes of the unleavened, we prepare to shift our perspectives and renew our mental states towards freedom. As we remove our physical environment of all “chametz” (literal translation: leavened; root word: to ferment/sour); we also seek to remove our minds of emotional and spiritual chametz.  During our 7-day exodus commemorative journey we endeavor to transcend from the restraints of whatever holds us in bondage.

This is something my husband Jeff and I have been working on for quite a while.  As we are developing the Freedom Thought Project™, through our coaching work of helping many overcome their limitations, we have come to realize that while we live in a so-called free society, many do not even fathom what it means to be free or what true freedom feels like.  And it all stems within the constraints of our own minds!  What are you a slave to? Fear? Anxiety? Financial problems? Addictions? Uncertainty?  A Cause? What is it you had started out with the intention of having a result of happiness and fulfillment, that has all of a sudden, left you feeling confused, powerless and hopeless?

Here are a few steps to help identify and guide you through your own journey towards true freedom.

The Path from Enslavement to Freedom!

Enslavement holds a lifestyle racked between fear and danger of being physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually hurt.  Even those who physically live within some form of bondage may be spiritually, emotionally and mentally free.  Leave behind the victim mentality of how you deserve a current lifestyle.  This moment is nothing more than a moment in time.  Anything may happen in the next moment when you conduct yourself with flexibility.

  1. Do you feel you are a slave to something? Whom or what do you believe is keeping you there?
  2. A slave mentality holds many characteristics of remaining a victim. Answer the following questions to identity if you are living in emotional or physical bondage:

a)      Do you often have recurring thoughts of despair or hopelessness?

b)      Do you often find yourself thinking the worst in situations?

c)       Do you tend to blame others?

d)      Do you habitually blame yourself for your lot in life?

e)      Do you normally tend to feel you have the ability and resources to change your situation?

f)       Do you find yourself feeling stuck focusing on what others have and what you may not?

  1. When you become aware of your experience, without the specific ‘drama’ or ‘story’ of what you are going through, pay specific attention to the ‘what’ and ‘how’ of your experience.
  2. Notice how these recurring sensations begin.  Is it voices you hear, images you see or sensations you feel?  These are recurring patterns you may have created.

Voices 

a)      If these are recurring voices, are they that of your own or somebody else?

b)      Do they still say those things or are they from the past?

c)       Change them to something more pleasant.  Example: Whenever you hear these negative words, engage some of your favorite music that inspires you.

d)      In your mind, turn up the music, then turn down the voices.

Images

a)      Begin to collect images that best resonate your sensations of freedom .

b)      Clip them from magazines and create a wish or dream scrap-book.

c)       Recreate this scrap-book in your mind where you may never lose it and conjure them up when you need reminding

Sensations

a)      When you notice the feelings, get up and move!

b)      By going for a walk, a drive and by shifting your scenery and immediate environment, you will automatically shift your thoughts, images and feelings into something more useful.

Each or these steps will allow yourself to open a gap between your stuck thoughts of despair or victimhood.  Within this gap or thought-space, allow feelings of possibilities, hope and even joy.  The more you do this, the more these gaps will override your less useful thoughts that keep you stuck.

(Courtesy of Freedom Thought Project™)

So with that, I close with a wish to all of you: That may your journey to peace, happiness and fulfillment rise above the enslavement of hopelessness and despair; may you truly have freedom in your life and may you have the wisdom, courage and determination to know the difference!

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Why Complain?

It saddens me when I hear people constantly complain.  Why complain? If you were to ask the complainer this question, there will always be an answer; they will always justify it. They might attempt to camouflage it by reframing it as a vent, needing to use you as a sounding board, etc. But you on the receiving end know it’s a complaint, a rant, a tirade – normally fully of vitriol and venom.  There’s a reason for the urban phrase of “burning another’s ears” as a slang for venting.

My suggestion is, if you don’t like the hand you’ve been dealt, then change it; if you can’t – then change you! Rise above it! You will see the situation change or at least your perspective of it and its effect on you. The more you mull and seethe over the negatives – the aggravation, the frustration, the more it eats away at you. And whom do you call when you do? Who do you think is the lucky recipient of your venom? Sadly, not the object of your complaint but most probably a loving member of your friends and family circle.

Before we pick our lucky recipient to help make us feel better, realize that this is someone who loves us. Is this really the gift we want to bestow on those that love us the most, the ones we feel most comfortable? What about their un-ease and discomfort of being on the receiving end? How do they feel about how their love is being reciprocated? How are we telling them that we appreciate them? Certainly not by sapping their energy and spirits.

While we have to be mindful of how we off-load to those who love us the most, realize that even when on the receiving end, our boundaries matter and would serve us best to be enforced.  Even if it is your own detachment to the emotional toxicity as you listen compassionately. Remember to ask if advice is wanted. If someone is constantly complaining, especially about the same issues, they probably are not looking for solutions. Remember too, that constant complaining keeps us constant victims.  Have you ever noticed that after the complaints, you rarely receive the news of how it all worked out? Have you ever received the ‘good news’ call about the issues having been resolved? And what do you normally do when you have been the one doing the venting?

On the other hand, if you ever feel like complaining, remember when you wake up and ask how you can bring joy to someone else’s life that day, complaining to them isn’t one of the ways! If we care for others then it would make sense to be mindful of how we treat them. Confiding and sharing with someone about a problem is not the same as a complaining tirade.  What about their day? Maybe they’ve not shared with you their problems. Ask yourself, would you rather be someone that lifted their spirits, or be the one to add to their burden?

Share after you’ve at least detached from the heat of the moment, long enough to gain some perspective and resolution. Telling someone else our problems after we’ve become a little detached from the negative emotions is probably going to be more productive than just venting (even in the word ‘venting’, you can imagine steam emitting off your person in another’s direction).

So why complain? I can’t think of a justifiable reason, now can you?

 

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