Prism Thinking – Design Your Mind

Posts tagged ‘well-being’

Exodus, Freedom and Transcending What Enslaves Us

In the next week as we Jewish people everywhere prepare for the Passover holiday, it reminds us that it is not just a holiday of traditional ritual services.  Although regional traditions were handed down from generation to generation stemming from the Torah commandments, what we are constantly reminded is the primal message we received from the very Event that started this whole thing – which was the Exodus from Egypt and imposed slavery on our ancestors. And the message is one of perspective and of prism-thinking itself.

While we were given Divine instruction to hurry up and leave our enslaved existence of over 400 years as a people, along with whatever personal belongings we could gather within a very confined window of time, what we didn’t know at the time was that we were about to embark on a 40-year journey in the wilderness before we could get to where we were going. Metaphorically, does that seem to sound familiar?

Time and time again we argued, we complained, we feared, we rebelled, all the while being told to just trust and have faith. Well yes, wouldn’t you know – some did and some didn’t! In the meantime, we journeyed, we grew, we were nourished, we won battles along the way and were provided all sorts of clues and messages and yes, blatantly affirmative laws, explicit instruction on how-to everything!

So why then did the Israelites take 40 years to get to their destination? And why did it coincide with an entire generation dying out before we were awarded entry into the land of Israel? Symbolically and physically, the land of Israel represented a new mindset, that of freedom, responsibility, accountability, growth and development, all the attributes that come with being your own person. One cannot enter this state without a synchronous mentality. One cannot maintain such a state with the lingering mentality of slavery and bondage.

Likewise as we prepare to clean our homes of the unleavened, we prepare to shift our perspectives and renew our mental states towards freedom. As we remove our physical environment of all “chametz” (literal translation: leavened; root word: to ferment/sour); we also seek to remove our minds of emotional and spiritual chametz.  During our 7-day exodus commemorative journey we endeavor to transcend from the restraints of whatever holds us in bondage.

This is something my husband Jeff and I have been working on for quite a while.  As we are developing the Freedom Thought Project™, through our coaching work of helping many overcome their limitations, we have come to realize that while we live in a so-called free society, many do not even fathom what it means to be free or what true freedom feels like.  And it all stems within the constraints of our own minds!  What are you a slave to? Fear? Anxiety? Financial problems? Addictions? Uncertainty?  A Cause? What is it you had started out with the intention of having a result of happiness and fulfillment, that has all of a sudden, left you feeling confused, powerless and hopeless?

Here are a few steps to help identify and guide you through your own journey towards true freedom.

The Path from Enslavement to Freedom!

Enslavement holds a lifestyle racked between fear and danger of being physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually hurt.  Even those who physically live within some form of bondage may be spiritually, emotionally and mentally free.  Leave behind the victim mentality of how you deserve a current lifestyle.  This moment is nothing more than a moment in time.  Anything may happen in the next moment when you conduct yourself with flexibility.

  1. Do you feel you are a slave to something? Whom or what do you believe is keeping you there?
  2. A slave mentality holds many characteristics of remaining a victim. Answer the following questions to identity if you are living in emotional or physical bondage:

a)      Do you often have recurring thoughts of despair or hopelessness?

b)      Do you often find yourself thinking the worst in situations?

c)       Do you tend to blame others?

d)      Do you habitually blame yourself for your lot in life?

e)      Do you normally tend to feel you have the ability and resources to change your situation?

f)       Do you find yourself feeling stuck focusing on what others have and what you may not?

  1. When you become aware of your experience, without the specific ‘drama’ or ‘story’ of what you are going through, pay specific attention to the ‘what’ and ‘how’ of your experience.
  2. Notice how these recurring sensations begin.  Is it voices you hear, images you see or sensations you feel?  These are recurring patterns you may have created.

Voices 

a)      If these are recurring voices, are they that of your own or somebody else?

b)      Do they still say those things or are they from the past?

c)       Change them to something more pleasant.  Example: Whenever you hear these negative words, engage some of your favorite music that inspires you.

d)      In your mind, turn up the music, then turn down the voices.

Images

a)      Begin to collect images that best resonate your sensations of freedom .

b)      Clip them from magazines and create a wish or dream scrap-book.

c)       Recreate this scrap-book in your mind where you may never lose it and conjure them up when you need reminding

Sensations

a)      When you notice the feelings, get up and move!

b)      By going for a walk, a drive and by shifting your scenery and immediate environment, you will automatically shift your thoughts, images and feelings into something more useful.

Each or these steps will allow yourself to open a gap between your stuck thoughts of despair or victimhood.  Within this gap or thought-space, allow feelings of possibilities, hope and even joy.  The more you do this, the more these gaps will override your less useful thoughts that keep you stuck.

(Courtesy of Freedom Thought Project™)

So with that, I close with a wish to all of you: That may your journey to peace, happiness and fulfillment rise above the enslavement of hopelessness and despair; may you truly have freedom in your life and may you have the wisdom, courage and determination to know the difference!

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Happy Birthday to You!

“Happy” being the keyword here.  I think about many of the birthday jokes I’ve heard over the years and even decades…”another year older… another birthday…too many candles on the cake…” I even know of people who don’t want to be reminded about their birthday.  To those, it’s anything but a celebration. In fact, I recently conveyed some birthday greetings to someone I know for her husband’s birthday, to which was replied, “He says doesn’t want anymore birthdays!” Really? Then what’s the alternative?

So what if birthdays were also understood by each and every one of us as “Lifedays”?  Would we find a difference in celebrating that? I have found that the people most grateful for birthdays – another one, and yes, another one – are cancer survivors, or survivors of other life-threatening illnesses or circumstances. They know with every fiber of their being that birthdays are lifedays!

I of course realize that growing older and aging after mid-life is something to be reckoned with by most of us.  We may not feel it in our heads, but definitely our bodies have a way of reminding us otherwise. And even though we may say about age that, “it’s just a number”, well yes it is! It’s the number of years commemorating the time we’ve been here on this earth, making our marks and touching lives, as well has having our lives touched –  and we should celebrate that! So for these reasons, as far as birthdays are concerned, we greet each other with “many happy returns of the day” and “many more happy ones to come”. We Jewish people also have a birthday greeting that goes, “from now to 120+!” Not because these are mere traditional greetings, but because we know that our life and being another year older are to be rejoiced.

This also goes hand-in-hand with complaints about getting old. While I understand the hardships that many go through coming to terms with “things no longer working as well”, as well we hang on to our youth as we seek to avoid our own mortality. I often wonder how and why we pray for long lives, simultaneously not wanting to grow old.  I somehow don’t think we can have one without the other.  We can do our best in preserving our youthful mentality, appearance and overall attitude to life.  We can decide to be happy no matter what – and this of course, we now know will keep producing the happy brain chemistry, along with dopamine and endorphins, the neuro-transmitters that in turn keep us young. We can metaphorically have our cake and eat it too!

So here’s the thing: if we hope to have our prayers for longevity answered, then we must embrace our years and the prospect of future years. The thing is to keep filling the years with what fulfills us.  When we celebrate life, we can celebrate milestones, not just in our age-number, but in how we gauge what we’ve experienced, what we’ve learned and how far we’ve come since we arrived. So Happy Lifeday! Celebrate many more happy returns and l’chaim, to Life!

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Beyond the Fun-House Mirror: Putting This “Morphic” Thing Back in Order

with Jeff Schoener, the NLP Wordsmythe

While the medical PR community comes up with new disorders on a continuous basis, before we get sucked in to the new millennium’s version of hypochondria, remember this vital information given from an insider in the medical profession: These disorders are merely new names given for symptoms not yet deciphered by the medical community in order for pharmaceutical companies to sell their wares.  There are so many self-diagnosed disorders today that, much like the communities of wordsmiths, NLP and other brain language and belief experts, it would behoove us to make use of the etymology of language before we fall into the traps. Getting to the root of the language may actually also help us get to the root of our so-called disorders.

I would like to use as a newly common example, Body Dysmorphic Disorder.  According to the Mayo Clinic, “Body dysmorphic disorder is a type of chronic mental illness in which you can’t stop thinking about a flaw with your appearance — a flaw that is either minor or imagined. When you have body dysmorphic disorder, you intensely obsess over your appearance and body image, often for many hours a day.” Now, can you think of how this perceived disorder goes far beyond the physical? In fact it goes beyond how one sees themselves; it’s also what we tell ourselves – how we talk to ourselves, what we hear, how we feel.

Physical dysmorphia may not just be seeing ourselves in a warped view. How do we “see” ourselves?  In the physical – pretty, ugly, average, gorgeous, plain, nice but flawed? As a person – intelligent, stupid, kind, confident, shy, a success, a failure? How are we telling ourselves that we are these things? What and whose voices do we hear? Our own, a critical parent, sibling or other family member? Our old school-mates, friends, bullies, teachers? How do we feel when we do this? If it makes us feel crappy, why do we do this? Would you ever define yourself as a masochist? Most wouldn’t, yet if we break it down, sadly many of us are.

I still remember one of the very few Dr. Phil advice or techniques that I have ever agreed with. A guest on his show had issues with motivation, self-esteem and was constantly in bad relationships, come to find out her father was verbally abusive to her as a child. However her father had long been deceased, but she kept replaying his words in her head. Finally Dr. Phil said to her, “He’s been gone for many years and you are an adult woman; STOP continuing on his abuse for him!” Are we standing in our own way to well-being, success and the life we desire? Interestingly enough, I also remember many years ago, I found myself saying something negative about me, when my husband Jeff retorted to my surprise, “Hey! Nobody speaks to my wife that way! Not even you!” That woke me up and I began to pay closer attention to the conversations I was having with my Self!

When Jeff works with clients within this range of issues, he finds that,

“When perception and illusion are out of balance, attempting self control based upon internal perception leads individually to distress and depression cycles.  The more the individual attempts to either control the cycle or avoid the cycle the worse the symptoms seem to get.  Do not attempt to get a handle on this.  In many cases my clients are battling the emotions not the issues that begin the cycle.“

So what can we do consciously to become more aware of our unconscious self-talk and beliefs about ourselves, and what can we do to change that?

  • Regress in order to egress.  Taking note of what you do, see, hear or feel before you ‘see’ yourself in ‘that way’ will offer you greater insight into what this is truly about.
  • Pay attention.  Most of the processes that drive these behaviors and emotions begin just outside of your conscious awareness.  If you were to pay attention to how this cycle is triggered, the better chance you have of making it a thing of the past.
  • Have faith.  What occurs behind our eyes is far more important than what we think we see. Our eyes are designed to invert an image onto our retina.  There is a direct translation process that happens in our brain.  Seeing is not always believing, for many believing is seeing.
  • Stop the blame game.  If you or someone else caused this cycle, blaming will only serve to distract from the cycle and fed into the emotional drama that helps keep you stuck.
  • Be more forgiving and be kind to yourself.  The more anger, anxiety and frustration occur, the more one becomes locked into their emotional drama. This is not the source of the issue, only the result.
  • Gain perspective and release control.  By becoming more a friend to your Self, many of these issues become just a little less important.

Begin following these tips and you will start getting more accustomed to paying attention to the language used by you and by others. Using appropriate language and finding congruence between your mind, body and spirit becomes the basis of making better brain chemistry and resulting in making healthier decisions. It goes like this: The better things you tell yourself, the better your brain chemistry, the better decisions you make and the better things turn out – it’s a happier cycle! Doing the opposite will give you adverse results. So keep practicing, keep healthy and stay happy!

For your viewing pleasure…here’s a more direct and humorous approach!

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Is the “Family Curse” Nothing More Than an Unhealthy Belief Pattern?

I’ve often heard folks talk about habitual events, occurrences and other strange phenomena that run within families as a “family curse”.  From infertility to financial predicaments there are those who believe they are in the state they are because it runs in the family.  There is deep rooted belief that the “sins of the father” are attributed to a kind of family karma that now plagues the descendants as generational curses.  Parents and other family members even share in great detail about why certain things within their family are the way they are, and what can be expected in the future with great vindication.  While it is apparent that events may seem a certain way, do they stem from something supernaturally inexplicable, or are they self-fulfilling prophesies? What if these were merely beliefs that were held so strongly, they were passed down to generations as inevitable truths?

Depending upon the belief or “curse”, statements such as “…money doesn’t grow on trees; our family has always struggled” and “all her husbands died untimely deaths, she must be jinxed” to “cancer or heart disease is hereditary in our family” can have strong holds and powerful effects on those being handed this legacy.  Do we really grow up believing the doom and gloom inevitability and then fulfill them? What about inspirational stories we read and hear about someone rising above and against all odds and changed the path of their supposed destiny? That is a belief too. There is actually something to be said about polarity responders who are in the habit of reversing suggestions that seem forced upon them– “Our family is destined for mediocrity??? Not ME! I’ll show THEM!

When someone puts a suggestion into the mind of a youngster, they do grow up believing it.  People stuck in a negative belief will make decisions that are desperate and fear-based.  And while the repercussions of these decisions may seem random, adopting behaviors of our role-models merely continue the pattern, thus “running it within the family”.  When a child is told with equal conviction, “you can be anything you want” they usually grow up fulfilling their dreams.  There is this lovely lady who apparently is constantly winning prizes and lotteries and she believes she is extremely lucky.  Why is this? When she was a child she was constantly told what a lucky little girl she was because her parents were Holocaust survivors. So then good fortune also runs in families as “blessings” from healthy beliefs handed down in patterns – the antithesis of the “curse’.

So then, understanding this, why live our lives around the negative and damaging beliefs? Knowing that we not only change the odds through our actions, that we also can change them through personal belief and intention, breaking a destructive pattern could be as easy as believing that some ritual performed has broken a long-time curse.  Believing that things have now changed, we begin thinking and doing things differently because we believe the outcomes can now be to our favor. Very different from, “what’s the point? It’s only going to be the same anyway!” Changing a belief from negative to positive may be a bit more challenging without certain validation, but it can be done, usually with readiness, willingness and unequivocal intent.

When we begin to look at a situation or series of events which originally happened with someone other than ourselves and realize that we are not them and that we don’t have to adopt the same patterns, mentalities and attitudes we can begin to focus on who we are and what will make us happy, and then how to go about getting there.  Having a wish list doesn’t have to be mere fantasy that we believe we can never really achieve, it could be a to-do list for our goals in bringing about our true desires when we believe we can do them. We don’t have to feel like we’re bound to someone else’s version about how their lives took shape.  Each of us is a blank canvas just waiting for us to create the life we want.

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Why Complain?

It saddens me when I hear people constantly complain.  Why complain? If you were to ask the complainer this question, there will always be an answer; they will always justify it. They might attempt to camouflage it by reframing it as a vent, needing to use you as a sounding board, etc. But you on the receiving end know it’s a complaint, a rant, a tirade – normally fully of vitriol and venom.  There’s a reason for the urban phrase of “burning another’s ears” as a slang for venting.

My suggestion is, if you don’t like the hand you’ve been dealt, then change it; if you can’t – then change you! Rise above it! You will see the situation change or at least your perspective of it and its effect on you. The more you mull and seethe over the negatives – the aggravation, the frustration, the more it eats away at you. And whom do you call when you do? Who do you think is the lucky recipient of your venom? Sadly, not the object of your complaint but most probably a loving member of your friends and family circle.

Before we pick our lucky recipient to help make us feel better, realize that this is someone who loves us. Is this really the gift we want to bestow on those that love us the most, the ones we feel most comfortable? What about their un-ease and discomfort of being on the receiving end? How do they feel about how their love is being reciprocated? How are we telling them that we appreciate them? Certainly not by sapping their energy and spirits.

While we have to be mindful of how we off-load to those who love us the most, realize that even when on the receiving end, our boundaries matter and would serve us best to be enforced.  Even if it is your own detachment to the emotional toxicity as you listen compassionately. Remember to ask if advice is wanted. If someone is constantly complaining, especially about the same issues, they probably are not looking for solutions. Remember too, that constant complaining keeps us constant victims.  Have you ever noticed that after the complaints, you rarely receive the news of how it all worked out? Have you ever received the ‘good news’ call about the issues having been resolved? And what do you normally do when you have been the one doing the venting?

On the other hand, if you ever feel like complaining, remember when you wake up and ask how you can bring joy to someone else’s life that day, complaining to them isn’t one of the ways! If we care for others then it would make sense to be mindful of how we treat them. Confiding and sharing with someone about a problem is not the same as a complaining tirade.  What about their day? Maybe they’ve not shared with you their problems. Ask yourself, would you rather be someone that lifted their spirits, or be the one to add to their burden?

Share after you’ve at least detached from the heat of the moment, long enough to gain some perspective and resolution. Telling someone else our problems after we’ve become a little detached from the negative emotions is probably going to be more productive than just venting (even in the word ‘venting’, you can imagine steam emitting off your person in another’s direction).

So why complain? I can’t think of a justifiable reason, now can you?

 

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Wake Up or Hit the Snooze Button?

In the wake of natural and man-made disasters that we see brewing and exploding around us, it is interesting to observe responses on the human level. We see groups claiming victimization, we see groups behaving like mere spectators, we see groups hailing the onset of Armageddon, and then there are groups stating the symbolism and metaphors in all occurrences.

No matter what your level of introspection in your own relationship to your environment – personally or globally, these events – no matter the strength of their impact upon us and our lives, serve as wake-up calls and demand that we pay attention. There has been much ridicule to the notion of wake-up calls, but really, who’s to say what is an epiphany to each of us, with each event that touches us?

Every event that touches our lives is an opportunity for introspection.  Sometimes we get little nudges and sometimes we get a kick in the behind.  We get clues, that if we’re aware enough to decipher, we get to move up or down our chosen paths and even be in harmony with the paths we choose and that perhaps chosen for us by something greater.

But what if we don’t take these generous opportunities to better ourselves and our lives? In times of crisis, regardless of what they are, we begin to take stock of our bank accounts, material inventories, water supply, our pantries and freezers and even our gas tanks.  What about our internal pantries and internal tanks? What’s missing in our lives and how much energy and courage will it take to fill? Sometimes what’s missing may be balance. Balance between the excess and the shortage – physical and emotional.  Perhaps too much drama and not enough courage? Too much guilt and not enough compassion? Too much ego and not enough confidence?

Maybe the messages aren’t for all of us, maybe for some more than others, and maybe for all affected, but the messages may be different for each.  The thing to remember is, any time is a good time for taking stock.  We shouldn’t wait for a ton of bricks to fall on our heads – literally, should we?  But oftentimes we do.  So the question remains, what does it all mean to you? In the end that’s all that really counts.  Are you directly or indirectly affected? If it didn’t touch you at all, did it touch you at all? Out of love… compassion… awe… fear… respect… honor? To yourself… to others? Do you set yourself apart from or become a part of?

Invariably and inevitably, a global calamity ultimately has a way of trickling down and seeping in, becoming a personal calamity.  Just as an exercise in relationship and perspective, think of some past and current world events, both natural and man-made and think about how it may have impacted your own life and to what degree.  How, if at all have you been affected? Could you have changed the outcome had you done something differently? Could you in the future?

While we cannot really predict what is forthcoming and we are constantly changing the future with our present actions, we can take stock of ourselves and do our best to make sure the actions we take are good ones. If we wake up and stop hitting the snooze button, we might just be awake enough to save someone, maybe even you.

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Hey Doc! Watch Your Language!

Just recently, I had learned that my aunt who resides in Australia and in her early 80’s, had a fall and broke her hip.  This was followed by a successful hip replacement.  My aunt had been diagnosed 6 years ago with Peripheral Neuropathy and gradually had less and less flexibility in her movement.  She is also someone who has always been mentally more youthful than her years, having been a singer/musician for a lengthy period of her life. Now her attending orthopedist had requested to review her tests and scans over the last 6 years.  Upon review, he concluded that she had been misdiagnosed and does not have neuropathy at all.  Good as a second opinion, right? He now also ascertained that reviewing her MRIs from 6 years ago, her brain had shrunk more than normal for a person of her then age and cannot understand how or why she does not have any sign or symptoms of dementia! (Really? Now I would definitely get a second opinion on that whole shrunken brain diagnosis!) He went ahead and ordered a new MRI to probe into this mystery.  Her results showed that her brain hasn’t changed much in all this time and is now normal.

Which brings me to other perspectives on the subject, some of which I have been collaborating with my husband Jeff, about the language used by doctors generally in the concluding diagnoses they make and the ultimately baffling reality they cannot seem to reconcile.  How do we gain the arrogance to make absolute sweeping statements about something that we know we don’t yet know everything about? In our field of healing within change-work, we understand that first of all, we don’t know everything there is to know about our mind-body processes, but we do know that our beliefs and what we tell ourselves, and ultimately our cells, has everything to do with it.  We know how to educate others in communicating the right messages and dialogs to our body in order to affect the optimum healthy dynamic.  In our line of teaching and learning, we know that while what we know we know is important, and what we know we don’t know will motivate us to learn more, realizing that what we don’t know we don’t know is the key to forever having the humility to gain further insight, knowledge, wisdom and understanding into the yet unknown realms of life.

Realizing that even doctors of western medicine who have studied and gained a vast array of knowledge about the human body in as much as understanding symptoms of diseases and the treatment of such, they still do not know what makes us tick and they do not know how healing happens on the meta-physical level. My aunt believed the doctor’s words six years ago that she had peripheral neuropathy and without a second opinion, readied herself for the progression of the disease declared by the doctor.  All I can say now is, thank God he didn’t “notice” or pursue the shrunken brain business, giving her further preparation for onset dementia which she no doubt would have contracted by now! (Funny thing too about the usage of language “contracting” a disease—so binding!)

Jeff and I have learned much about health and healing and how beliefs and communication with oneself affects all of it. Some years ago, Jeff was invited to speak and facilitate a meditative healing session at a Parkinson’s disease conference.  Our neurologist associate, who is also a movement disorder specialist, was very interested in the effects of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Design Human Engineering used for Parkinson’s and Stroke. We both listened very intently to the language used by all the featured speakers, including our associate and the neuro-surgeon. While our associate is a believer of integrative healing and had a more human approach, the presentations by all the doctors were more a fact-based approach of known evidence of the disease and delivered step-by-step sequential acceleration of the disease’s progression that patients should expect.  When the conference took a break, we listened to the comments of the bypassing patients, most of them along the lines of “I feel more depressed now than when I got here!” Sad but true.  And oh yes, depression is also one of the by-products of the disease! Well no wonder…since they had put their patients in further dis-ease!

In another instance, I know a woman who went to see a breast surgeon for a biopsy consultation to check for some abnormality. Feeling confident that the reputable facility had all her files regarding the issue, when the surgeon appeared, his first words to her were, “So I understand you’ve been diagnosed with breast cancer.” Her response? What? No! Clearly he was not familiar with her file or reason for being there, even though she had filled out countless forms, along with prior tests results leading to her consultation.  Had she been someone who was not familiar with her own case, she would have taken him at his word and shrunk in fear and anxiety.

While I’m no doctor, I may be a healer of sorts and I know as my own truth that when we put our faith into the limitations of the medical encyclopedia we begin to believe with limitation. So why in all glory of the infinite possibilities we have been given, would we choose to restrict ourselves with someone else’s limited version of who we are and what we are to become?

Realizing this now, my foremost suggestion is always be aware of what you say to your body. Speak well of yourself and to yourself. Be all that you desire and more than you think you are, and stay well.

Want to learn more about communicating with our cells? View info on Cellular Acceptance: The Healing Audio Workshop with your smartphone.

 

Learn more about cellular communication and Cellular Acceptance.

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